Nope. Not this type of swingers.

As outgoing as I am among people that I know, if you get me around strangers I’m an instant introvert. However, if you get some alcohol in me, that changes (as evidenced in other W.T.T.). While vacationing in Cancun this past June, my husband thought it would be funny to enter me in a beer drinking contest at our resort. There were only two problems with this: 1. I don’t really drink and 2. beer isn’t my drink of choice. But like the little trooper that I am, I took one for the team and chugged. Thankfully it was how quickly one could drink the beer and not how much. I came in second to a large Mexican “woman.” I say “woman” because she had a mustache and I swear she was a man in drag. Anyway, here’s where it gets a little ugly.

After the contest, I decided to swim over to the bar and get a beer for the husband and a pina colada for myself. As I was sitting on the bar stool waiting for my bevies, a guy about my age asked if I wanted to do a shot with him and some other people. Naturally I said yes. After the group shot-taking, he asked this kid next to me how old he was (did I mention I was tailed by a youngster on my way over?) and the kid said that he was 20. “Get the fuck outta here! I’m old enough to be your daddy!” Then the guy asked how old I was and when I told him, he asked if I was alone or with someone. I pointed out my husband in the crowd and he told me to come back over because he “needed to party” with people his own age.

I was so proud of myself! I swam back over and insisted that my dear husband meet my new pals. He was reluctant at first, but I insisted. When we got back to the bar, my buddy was still there with his wife and two other couples. Couple #1 was from Arkansas. He was a K9 officer and she was an eighth grade English teacher. Couple #2 was from Missouri and I have no idea what either of them did. Couple #3 was from Pennsylvania. She was a student and he worked for the Flyers. Good people just enjoying the sun and conversation. Suddenly I looked over and saw the women in the group showing their boobs to each other. Okay, whatever. No big deal. Granted this was a family-friendly resort and we were next to the kiddie pool, but oh well.

A few minutes later, I looked over to see the woman from PA licking the nipple of the woman from AR. Whoa! But we were having a nice conversation with the gentlemen from the group so I ignored them. A few minutes more passed and then I saw the woman from Missouri full-out making out with the one from PA. Um , okay. I’m not close-minded and who am I to judge so I still didn’t say anything. It eventually got so bad that the manager came out and asked the ladies to leave the pool area. My husband and I laughed about it and headed to the beach since the show was over. But we were soooooo wrong!

Next Time: Things get a little NSFW

Tags: Arkansas, beer drinking contest, boobs, Cancun, Missouri, nipple licking, Pennsylvania